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1. I suppose I should really dry my hair.

2. But firstly, I’m going to treat myself to a solid minute of Instagram scrolling. To reward myself for actually having a shower, you know myself.

3. *several minutes pass*

4. Oh great, I’ve just spent eight minutes creeping on the fiancé of a girl I went to primary school with. At least I’ve ascertained that he loves craft beer, though.

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5. I really, really should take off this towel and start getting dressed.

6. On the other hand, it’s so warm and cosy! I don’t want the frigid February air hitting my nether regions.

7. I wonder how much time the average person spends arsing around in a towel after the shower. Probably, like, two years?

8. Imagine all the things I could achieve if I didn’t spend so much time in my towel. *aimlessly watches some Snapchat stories*

9. “Nearly in town now. When will you be in?” Ah shite.

10. “Yep, I’ll be there in about 20 minutes *ok emoji*”

11.  Lies. Utter lies. Thank God I’m not under oath or I’d be convicted for perjury.

12. *stares into the middle distance and has a good, long think about how I’m wasting my life*

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13. Right, I should really dry my hair before it starts to air-dry. But the effort!

14. If I won the Lotto, the first thing I’d do is hire someone to dry my hair for me.

15. It’s so rude that this hairdryer (a) is not within arm’s reach and (b) needs to be plugged in. This is my Everest.

16. *plugs in hairdryer and spends a good ten minutes just blowing hot air on yourself* Yes, this is heaven. I might just do this for the rest of the day.

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17. “Just running a bit behind. Should be there in twenty minutes.”

18. *winks*

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